Back in June 2020, I came out as non-binary, or more specifically, gender-fluid. However, in recent months, this label has begun to feel more and more inaccurate. My gender was not rocketing back and forth between man, woman, and everything in between, but staying comfortably in one spot; always feeling a bit like a man, a woman, and more, all at the same time. This is given the label bi-gender.
Part of me wishes we could do away with the labels altogether; I am neither male nor female, nor entirely in the middle, but a bit of everything. Unfortunately, societal convention demands I be categorised neatly, and therefore I choose the category that describes me most accurately as bi-gender.
My name and pronouns remain the same, as the shift in defining my identity is not as ground-breaking as it first seemed. While I was trying to emphasise the use of They/Them pronouns for gender-fluidity, given that I now openly welcome aspects of all genders as my own, the use of all pronouns is welcomed. You can use he, she, they, or even neo-pronouns, provided you’re only using them to say nice things about me.
My biggest fear is that people will think I am seeking attention. That is not the case. I simply wish to be my authentic self, and the self is often a difficult thing to pin down. In fact, had I not come out as gender-fluid and had the chance to explore a wide range of identities openly, I may not have even been able to settle on the term bi-gender at all.
I did think about deleting my old post coming out as gender-fluid but eventually decided against it; partly because of the work involved of retrospectively correcting six months worth of content, but partly because I want other people who feel like me to know that it’s OK to change the labels you apply to yourself, and that there’s no shame in it. I’ve added an editors note and amended the flag used in the post, but besides that it remains the same.
This “reveal” doesn’t change much at all beyond the many social media profiles I’ve had to amend, and I hope that those who have been supportive up until now won’t change much either. Perhaps the biggest change of all is that bi-gender bisexual just sounds so much snappier.